IT'S TIME FOR...........CHUCK NORRIS JOKES!!!

Here are some really good (I thought so) Chuck Norris Jokes

• When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
• Chuck Norris has no shadow....nothing's stupid enough to follow Chuck Norris.
• Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
• Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
• Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
• There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
• Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
• Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
• Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
• Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
• When the president pushes the big red button Chuck Norris's cell phone rings
• Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
• Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
• Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
• Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
• Einstein said you can't move at the speed of light. Obviously he was never kicked by Chuck Norris...
• Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
• Chuck Norris once roudhoused kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek
• When Chuck Norris looks at himself at a mirror, there is no reflection. There can only be one Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Here is Chuck Norris himself reading Chuck Norris Jokes